These days sexual intimacy has become a prerequisite for relationships. The reason behind this is the number of sexual content one can find on television, films, magazines, advertisements, easily available pornographic material leading to the ultimate dip in moral behaviour.
Being a student in film and TV as well as advertising I have read several articles and journals addressing that if sexual content is present in any form of media, it will sell. It may not be a “hit”, but it shall still sell.
I have also read confession-based columns where boys have threatened women (and vice versa) to have a sexual relationship if they preferred theirs to last. Since the past decade OR so relationships solely based on sex has become increasingly popular. If the foundation of your relationship is sex OR even physical attraction, opt out of it!
Sex is an emotion in motion. Sex is addictive. Sex is damaging.
Medically, the body goes through a lot when you have sex. People do not realize that their body carries almost twice their body mass when they are having sex. The amount of energy used by your body while having sex is immense. And, that is why some people end up in tears after sex due to the lack of energy to do anything else later on. People do not realize all of these harmful factors because it is clouded by the penultimate pleasure derived from the climax – the orgasm. Sex is addictive.
There is a small difference between sex and making love. I have read a few medical journals stating that sex is to the point, whereas making love is a process and more elaborate, therefore more time consuming, patient and satisfying.
Sex without love is an empty experience. Passion is necessary while making love.
It is the satisfaction that makes it very much addictive. I am a firm believer that one must not become addictive to anything. It is hard but not impossible to resist temptation. That includes sex.
I have never been into sex. I have never been interested in it as I have always been into other forms of entertainment, motorsports, and so on. I recall the times when some of the guys from my class would meet up only to watch pornographic material. I was never invited to such meetings. Frankly, I am glad. And, even if I was, I would be busy playing soccer, supporting Michael Schumacher OR defending Kirk Hammett to be one of the best guitarists in the world.
I have never been a fan of erotic displays of love in public, rough sex, spanking, commenting on one’s assets as I have felt it to be uncomfortable to the viewer. But, most importantly, I have felt it to be disrespectful by the ones indulging in so.
Pornographic material put these thoughts into people. It makes people concentrate on the physical assets of one’s body rather than focusing on one’s face. Recently, I saw a female with a shirt that read “Up here” written across her chest. That says a lot, doesn’t it?
Not a day goes by when I see a guy “checking out” a girl (and vice versa). I am appalled by how people have started complementing someone’s beauty OR rather sexuality by using words such as “hot”, “sexy”, “bombshell”. The sad part is that such complements are accepted and appreciated.
I prefer calling people beautiful than sexy. I believe everyone is beautiful. They need not necessarily look like Brad Pitt OR Kate Moss to be beautiful (that is if you consider these two celebrities to be beautiful). I have always found Rachel Weisz, Princess Diana, Sandra Bullock, Charlize Theron, Sushmita Sen, Aishwarya Rai and Kate Winslet to being beautiful. It is not their physical appearance, but also their maturity and knowledge, their modesty in dressing up and the manner in which they carry themselves that make them attractive to me. I am not talking of film roles here; I am talking about real life here.
The new rule of fashion that encourages people to show off more skin is another route to erotic behaviour. Therefore, modesty is necessary for chastity. Modesty in both the way one behaves and dresses is required for chastity.
Intellect has always preceded appearance in my books. If I may, it turns me on.
Pornographic material elevates expectations in people and they soon expect their girl/boy friend OR spouses to behave like a porn star. This is one of the root causes of break-ups, extra marital affairs and divorces.
Pornographic media minuses love from sex. Faith is compromised by such illicit and despicable behaviour. So, do you really want to have an empty experience?
I have seen people who know that premarital sex is not healthy. Still, they continue doing it by falsely convincing themselves with the wrong fact that they can simply repent after committing a crime. Knowingly committing a wrong is not a mistake; it is stupidity.
One must stay away from temptations that may lead them to resentment and depression.
Although I personally live with such high moral standards, I am only human. So, it is normal for me to fall prey to temptations. And I did. The damage was immense.
I presumed that arousing conversations were all right, especially when there is love. But, I fell on my face with this wrong notion. I have hurt and caused pain by doing so. I have lost my strong self-respect, and my otherwise extremely strong self-control in the process. Although I have been comforted by several religious men on several occasions that “saying is not doing”, the damage that I have caused is backfiring on me. This is because I genuinely cared and loved that beautiful human being.
I cannot undo what I have done. But, I sure can ensure it to not happen again.
Our body is ours. Our soul, our self-respect, our identity resides in it. To hurt it is to handicap a person. And, no one has the right to do so. But, I did. I regret I did.
I am in a process of repentance since long now. A sincere repentance, I mean. I know I shall be forgiven by myself, the person I have hurt and Him.
A few years ago I spoke to a stranger about his love life. He seemed depressed and was wondering whether he could have a normal relationship with his girl friend. Considering their history I advised him - “If you can continue to have a normal relationship with her, even at a friendship level without the mention of sex, your relationship still stands a chance. I mean this”. Now, they are happily married and have a child. I am happy for them.
Everyone deserves a second chance. A fair one. Being someone’s guide by correcting them, by supporting them regardless of their time defines humanity and not just friendship.
Temptations are a challenge to the Spirit. Temptations are hard to quickly put an end to because as humans, we do not want to completely discourage it. Therefore, temptations are better to be avoided than resisting it.
Photo by Ajey Padival
Copyright © Ajey Padival 2010 (Brisbane, Australia; +61434360675; firstname.lastname@example.org)