Inner Turmoil

(All Instruments Begin)
(No Drums throughout)

Falling from clouds over the mountains

Feeling the flight go down

Seeing the moments pass right through me

Living a life in dust

I’m bleeding blood in this love, but I’m living

Changing the shape of my heart

Rejection was an unseen reflection

Left with no answers, but I stay

(MONOLOGUES SPOKEN)

“He’ll never get close to anyone

He is one of those who feel bad when the world is not where he wants it to be

He is hopeless

You should have let gone of him when you had a chance

That was an easy choice

He is a disgrace to the family

You know nothing about life

All he brings is shame

He does not feel emotions, is he an animal?

You will be alone

You will not have anything to look forward to

He will not have any memories to share

He should have died

Why are you alive?

You expect a lot

What’s with the sadness in your eyes?

Your eyes say something else... your lips say different

Was he breathing when you held him?

What did you see? Tell us... what did you see?

Are you the victim here?

Are you all right?

Give some respect man! He is a human being!

How could they... how could they kill him?

He doesn’t give up... just give up

You are a difficult person

You can never love

You are a stone”

Every man has an angel come unto him

Learning from her reflections

He found her and his self again

Time to turn the page

I never thought this would end

This is not how I wanted it to end

And, nothing lasts forever

(MONOLOGUES SPOKEN)

“You’re a wise man

You’re a beautiful person

Can I hug you?

You know, I cannot see you like this

You are worse than before

No, I am better being miserable

Why do you care so much?

I feel your pain, please let me hug you

Am I a good or a bad person?

You are a selfless lover

People should listen to you when you tell them to

Did I do anything wrong?

Forget me like your worst nightmare

I now know I can fall in love

You look happy... yes, you look happy now... be like this

I now know I can never fall in love again

It’s not that I cannot trust anyone... it is just that the one I trusted left me

Every rose has a thorn

He is my son

You touch him, and you will regret you did

Because I really loved her, do you understand?

Unspoken words still hanging in the air

I am freeing her because I care for her

He never revealed until recently

Now, I am back to what I was

Familiar place... I know everything here

Without meeting, and talking, this will go nowhere

You at least talk... I have no one to talk to

I am frozen in time because I want to be frozen here

Do you really want this to work? I know I do

I am glad she is happy

Promise me just this much... when I come back home... simply smile!

Nothing else I ask from you

Stay away... stay way away from me... people who get close to me tend to get hurt

Why do you say that?

Please don’t say that

Don’t hurt yourself like this

Was this too good to be true?”

(Percussion SOLO)
(MONOLOGUES SPOKEN)

“Facing the reality

I am left with myself now, to talk to, to comfort

These feelings I cannot peel off so that I can heal

I love pricking my own wounds... who knows... something may be revealed

I may get my answers

Looking forward to this Sunday

When you have missed something, you have gained something

When you have gained something, you have missed something

Sadness I am comfortable with... I know sadness well... I can deal with it

You’ve got to try son

Pray about it brother

I cannot tell you how I feel brother

It aches... it aches badly... and I am left with no one again brother

Wondering why it hurts... I am used to this situation... I have friends

At the same time, I feel proud and happy for I have loved

I have loved for the right reasons”

(Man Speaking)

“Dry heat

This dry heat is killing me

You say anything about her, and you will regret you did

I made something for someone... but was not acknowledged of it...

Guess I have to deal with this

I love my mom

I miss your warmth

I miss talking to you

You were all I had

I know I can have someone else

But, what if I said, I want no one else”

(Instruments Stop)
(Piano SOLO)

(All Instruments BEGIN)

“It is 9’O Clock and the doors are closed

The windows are closed

The walls are closing in

Finding a place to sleep in my own home”

“There’s no one to take my blame”

I will never feel the same

So, thanks for giving me the best of times

I am already what you want me to be

My aims wander with no one to claim

My soul I won’t give up for my goal

(Guitar SOLO)

“I’ll never be open again

I’ll never be open again”

I can never be open again

I can never be open again

This life I defend, I pretend

“I’ll never be open again”

A broken dream I’m left to amend

I’m broken so I am open

Painting by Anthony 

Copyright © Ajey Padival 2010 (Brisbane, Australia; +61-434360675; ajeypadival@msn.com)