(Guitar INTRO)
(Bass Guitar)
(Drums begin)
(MUFFLED VOCALS/INSTRUMENTS + SFX-Tapping)
Under the sea
We’re left here
Where no one can see
And, we stay here in fear
(CLEAR BACKING VOCALS/INSTRUMENTS BEGIN + SFX-Radio signals)
Down
Down
Down
Down
Pushed away
Left away by our own
Cursed to be forgotten
We don’t see the surface
(BACKING VOCALS STOP)
We won’t see the surface again
(Guitar Bridge)
The air has gone
The need has gone
Slowly,
This heart
Turns to stone
Up there above
Family awaits us
We feel the absence
Noise
Fills the silence
(DUAL VOCALS)
We won’t see them again
(BACKING VOCALS BEGIN + SFX-Radio signals)
Down
Down
Drown
Drown
Gone
Gone
Mourn
Mourn
Pushed away
Left away
By our own
(BACKING VOCALS STOP)
(Drum Bridge)
(HIGH-PITCH)
Cursed to be forgotten
(Instrumentals – 40 seconds)
(MUFFLED VOCALS + SFX)
Slowly,
This heart turns to stone
Slowly,
This heart turns to stone
(Drums stop)
We’ll never see again (SPOKEN)
We’ll never live again (WHISPER)
(Bass + SFX-Radio signals EXTRO)
Copyright © Ajey Padival 2002 (Brisbane, Australia; +61-434360675; ajeypadival@msn.com)
Image by Lepiaf Geo
Posts
48 responses:
geez, AJ! was '02 a bad year down under? OK, dark is good too. all can't be sunshine and poseys up the wazoo. I like it as long as I have a stiff drink before-hand & one after. down down down-ok, I'm with ya~Rick
@Rikkij - Thank you!!! I was in the middle-east in 2002.
"I like it as long as I have a stiff drink before-hand & one after. down down down-ok, I'm with ya"
Haha, I'm with you too mate!!!
OK, AJ-went and had a drink, went through it again . had a drink and really liked it! yeah it's dark but it's something that's out there. something we ignore but can't forever. It takes some gut to reach into this stuff and put it to music. hats off! ~Rick
@Rikkij - Thanks mate!!!
"something we ignore but can't forever"
So very true!!!
Hey,
Great imagery in this piece. You capture all the senses of drowning and loss. Sometimes you can find great meaning in darkness.
@The Write Girl - Thank you!!!
The air has gone
The need has gone
Slowly,
This heart
Turns to stone
Up there above
Family awaits us
We feel the absence
Noise
Fills the silence
Simple lines .. but really touching !!
@Pretty Me!! - Ah, you finally found time to stop by. Just kidding!!!
Thank you!!!
Ha ha ha ha you were the only one who spotted that. You have a good memory, even I couldn't remember posting her before!Ha!
We all feel like this (I'm sure) at some point and you've managed to convey such through your words.Well done, you.
@SarahA - It was a great poem SarahA. I would be a fool to forget it, honestly.
Thanks a lot. I am glad you like this one.
That's quite a song. I have an intense dread of drowning. These lines capture the spirit of that dread. The photo is amazing, too.
@SandyCarlson - Thanks a lot!!!
You wrote a song on drowning?!
Wow!! One doesn't see(Or in this case; Hear) that very often!
And yeah, it was really good. The part where "down" is repeated is like super-catchy.
Great going!
@Saadi - Thanks.
down is okay.... as long as you find your way back up. which i think you've done. excellent writing!
Brosreview - This piece is a downer. Sarah A's suggests that we may all have such feelings, but I'm not sure this is so. Even in my darkest hour or those that I have seen others experience firsthand, have never had such feelings and there is always hope.
Great image!
Having said that, I can imagine, however, some who have had continuous heartache would have such feelings. What is for certain is that in my many travels I have seen pain in the eyes of parents and children and wonder how they lead such lives in obvious desolation. Even among these, some had hope.
Thank you for a glimpse into the lives of others.
while reading i was visualising the whole song and wowwwwwwwwwww it ws amazing and that's the power of ur song.
"We’ll never see again (SPOKEN)
We’ll never live again (WHISPER)" ........ this one is just too good i mean absolutely wonderful. it's giving me goosebumps. today something bad happend to me and i would never meet her again coz she has died 2day. she was too close to me although she was just a stray puppy. now nobody would come running to me on my way bk home. and so these two lines have touched me deep n i cnt stop my tears form rolling down.
please upload the song.
take care. :)
@Shadow - Very true!!! Thank you!!!
@Judith - A nice take there!!! Thanks a lot!!!
@Preetilata - I feel sorry for your loss. Yes, I can relate to that feel.
Yes, once the song is done, I shall upload it.
Glad you like this one!!! Thank you!!!
It's hard for me to go there, Brosreview, but in this case you didn't give me a choice. You pulled me down with you. Powerful stuff and heavy stones.
@Women in a Window - Thanks a lot!!!
Ajay,
Sounds like it was written in memory of fallem heros... You were very young then... great job!!
-Alex
@Alexandra Garland - Thanks a lot!!! Umm, I really appreciate you tracking back and commenting on the posts you'd missed. Thanks for that!!! It means a lot to me.
Another marvel Ajey,
Loved the following line immensely-
Slowly,
This heart turns to stone
and ofcourse, the complete piece in its real form should sound amazing..
@sudharm baxi - Thank you!!!
nice one,, u r a writer... nice one ... which kind of writings do u like most ? visit mine .. u will like it.. yr blog is nice...
@sidharth - I am mostly into songwriting. I visited yours. You have posted Tagore's works. Thanks for visiting mine.
this is freakin amazing
@Notion - Thanks mate!!!
oh and i fixed those things and thanks i really need to fix that stuff all those typos lol
@Notion - No worries!!! I read that you appreciate "constructive criticism". Hence, I was being honest with you.
Thanks for following my spot. I have added myself to the follower's list at your spot.
Cheers!!!
enjoyed my stay here... will visit back surely!
have followed u too!
@Pulkit - Thank you!!!
My dear friend Ajey,
Thanks for the kind words you left on my blog. I missed reading your thoughtful songs. Don is an another impressive one of yours as you describe loss with potential. I will take my time to read the others I missed.
I see that you got couple of awards, congratulations.
Ajey, Sorry for coming so late on this. Busy week.
This is damn good. I can connect to it very well, in my own ways.
"Up there above
Family awaits us
We feel the absence
Noise
Fills the silence"
These lines are stunner..Though the song on the whole is great, as always.
Thank You..!!
-Respect
Rahul
And Yes, Nice background change in the title bar. :)
@Khaled KEM - Thank you!!! And, yea, I meant it when I said you were missed.
@Make Me Disappear - Thank you!!!
@Make Me Disappear - Hey, you noticed? Thank you!!!
After 40 reponses you may not even see this one Dear Bros... I thought the work beautiful...x
@Abz - No, never think so. I value all the comments here Abbey. Thanks a lot!!! I am glad you like this one!!! I was just visiting your spot a few moments back!!! Ah, the coincidence!!! x AJ
I like...I don't know why, but I thought of the Little Mermaid and her hollowness....(I like the Little Mermaid, so it is not an insult).
@Meena - Now, that's a different take on the song. Thank you!!!
this one is haunting bro.
@Nadege - Yes, this one is quite haunting. Thanks for reading.
Horrible sensation, gave me a feeling of being pushed head down into the water force ably, where I was suffocating and my voice was getting muffled and gradually a time comes when I can feel that the others outside can no longer hear my voice...! You have brought out the sensation very aptly, stunning work Ajey. "Cursed to be forgotten"
These words seemed to me to be the check points of the song... great...!
@Diya - Thank you!!! I am sorry you felt so. But, that was intended here.
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